Helping me [one of my poems]

This is really one of my badder-worst poems that I've written....I hate it, but i'll show you all anyway.

Since I'm not perfect
I can't really see

i can't really know

How you;ve been helping me

You've been sitting on the sidelines

with the ice pack

knowing i'd get hurt

and waiting for me

Not leaving

Not breathing

Just waiting

For me

You knew I'd screw up

You knew I'd not win

You knew I'd lose

You knew

Nothing makes sense

This can't be true

I'm not good enough for your

love, oh your love

It's not you, It's me.

I'm a monster

I destoryed myself

I'm a monster

I'm a sinner

I'm a beginner

I'm a bad winner

I'm not who I used to be

Before I was better

I played by the rules

But now, I only play by one set of rules,

My rules

It's driving me insane

How can I stop it?

I can

But I can't

I don't have the will

Nor the inner power

To stop what I started

to clean up ink

You can save me

from myself

when I'm to dumb to see

what I will regret

I'm giving you my thanks

In the only way I can

Hoping you will read this

time and time again