Ah...what do I smell?

I Smell something...what is it? Is it the smell that the only person I like, like like is dating my annoying cousin?
Yes, that would be it.

But I don't care. I've got him as a best friend. A best friend who I just spent four hours on the phone with. Yes, that best friend. The best friend who doesn't realize his best friend like him more that that :(

Ok, i'm done now..

Nothing.. [one of my poems]

I just scrawled this one night..not nessissarily completed or good..

Nothing's here
Nothing's the same
It all became different
Am I still of sane?

No, I can't think
I'm acting so dumb
Now nothing worth noting will happen
Now that I've screwed myself, I've made sure of that.

So, all I have to look forward to is
the people I love
The people I hate
and myself - dying

Yes, that is it.
What else is there?
What else can I look forward to?
Now that my life has been messed up, nothing.

Preschool [one of my poems]

Preschool
If only we could go back
If only we could play again
Where there was no meaning to 'cool' or popular'

All the cliques and groups
were just pretty myths
No one thought twice
about holding a boys hand

No one spend hours on hair
no one had make up
No one worried
No one cared

No one was uncool
No one was unpopular
Everyone was your best friend
everyone was back in preschool

Then you moved up
into sixth grade
and there were lockers
and in them were 'uncool' and 'nerds'

"what..?" It's hard to believe
that growing up a little
can make people mean
can make people cruel

That growing up
and getting taller
and getting deeper
and getting smarter

could mean that you left behind
such a beautiful
and such a peaceful and 'cool'
Preschool

To perfect for Earth [one of my poems]

I kind of just felt like writing a poetic story about death or dying...so here 'ya go!
(This one is kind of fun to read aloud if you use your voice to give the right effects...so yeah)

I grasped the gold, bold stained
Knife
So tightly in my hand

My fingers turned
White
As did my face

I looked down, her
beautiful
eyes looking up at me, terrified

"If I can't have you" I told her
Hushing
my voice calmingly

"Then no one except the angles above can and even the
Angles
Will kill you, for your beauty is for complete perfection to be jealous of you"

You are the vision of
Perfection
and still, I am the only one to notice

For, if someone else had, you my dearie would already be
Dead
Yes, you would indeed

Don't fear it. All the
Pains
that your beautiful self have had to suffer will be no more

Now, just close your stunning
Eyes
and count to ten, and I will put you out of your misery.

"No, don't!" The beauty cried,
Thinking
That was her mistake

She thought to much for her own
Good
She started screaming

"This can happen the easy way or hard way" I
attempted
to comfort her, but knowing I would get my way

"No, my family! Who are you? Why are you doing this?!" She
screamed
A person of your beauty is to perfect for the imperfections of this world

You should not have to be down here, but in
Heaven
so that the mighty angles can serve you

And attend to your every
whim
I only thought this, not wanting to say more than necessary, then muttered to her "Count to ten"

She closed her eyes, but did not count. She did not
scream
She simply prayed

That night was not her
Last
But was the end for another

Me. That night the
Fire
of heaven came and punished me

Or so they
Claimed
But I know I was right

Or else
Why
Would I have been able to come back from the grave?

Why else would I have been
allowed
To come back to stop something to perfect for earth?

A thought never to be remembered [one of my poems]

The days go by
The the years disappear
But one thing that doesn't, is that you're still not here

You left so long ago
Or so it feels
When it was really just weeks ago

When your Dad got promotion
out to the city
You were over come with emotion

We got taken away
we were two separated sisters
So far apart

Nothing was the same after that
We used to be so close
Used to think the same thoughts

But now we're strangers
We've gone our separate ways
no reason to talk, there's nothing to say

As more time goes by
we can't even remember each other
there is not a single reason to

We don't feel each other
Like we used to
We never think about each other anymore; there's no reason to

Now you have a new bestest friend
As do I
and we're just a small thought in the back of each others mind

Never to be united
is this old sistership
Now it's just a memory

that is never to be remembered.

You've got someone [one of my poems]

Go on and stab me in the back
I know you will
Just remember, you can't take it back
Just remember that I'll always love you, still

No matter what you Do
No matter what you say
No matter how you act
I'll always be there for you

Wether you want it or not
You've got someone
You've got someone who cares
you've got someone out there for you

You can't change your past
But you can change your future
So try to remember what you're doing
How you're thinking, what you're saying, and what you're doing

Because I can only do so much for you
And one of the things I can't do for you, is act or think for you
You have to do that
Just be wise, and think smart

I'll be here to protect you. I always was from the start.

So EMOtional [one of my poems]

Why couldn't you just
Stab
me through the heart?

was it just more
satisfying
to sit back and laugh as you do it slowly?

Or did you just enjoy seeing my
Pain
As you stabbed me where you knew it would hurt most?

And you ripped out my
love
for everything I used to do

You made me lose my
interest
in my old loves

Now i am just a mere
shadow
of my old self

I don't even
recognize
my face in the mirror anymore

It's scary. You've just made me so
Emotional
Now it feels good.

It feels good to see the blue blood turn
red
as it flows out of my pale skin

It feels like an
escape
that only me and my silver knife can know

It turned me away from the rest of
civilization
It made me a black streak in the sky of rainbows

Who am I? I was just left to
Wonder
and doubt myself as you walked away

Leaving me alone, all to
myself
not even bothering to say good bye.

You've just left me so Emotional

Me [One of my poems]

I always wonder
why I'm like this
Why I can't be like her or him
Why I am the way I am

I think of my self as
The black next to a rainbow
the sun of the universe
the one person out of the crowd

I think about
in my days
How things could have been different
or what would be the same

And remember who I am
I remember how I feel
and how I think
and I realize that's who I'm meant to be

I realize if I wasn't me
And I wasn't a loner
If I wasn't emotional
If I wasn't me

That I wouldn't like myself
I would get tired of being popular
Having to follow the trends
Having to be like everyone else in the crowd

No, I prefer myself
The unpopular
The thinking
The independent

Me

Just Cry [one of my poems]

I wrote this recently for a friend..


There's nothing to do
They say to smile but you can't
Nothing will be better
But sometimes it just feels better to cry

You can't make it disappear
It can't be solved
It doesn't feel better
But just for the moment it does, just to cry

They say it won't help
It won't make a difference
But it does
To you

It gets out the anger
gets out the tears
Takes of the pressure
But will will reappear

So just cry for the moment
It will all be better
trust me, it will
and All you have to do is cry

Death [one of my poems]

This is my most recent poems...it holds great meaning for me.

This isn't a surprise

You can feel it coming

it's like a lion;

you can't control it

It's scary, maddening

It's something you try to forget

It's what you don't think about

what you try to forget

But it comes

It happens to everyone sometime

You can't control when

But it happens, you can feel it, so can others

Death

The word so harsh, so cold

No meaning, no feeling

So indescribable

It's going to happen

You can't control it

It's coming by surprise

But not to you

While you're in that bed

Waiting to go

Everyone is crying

except you

You've had your times

Had your laughs

had your time

Nothing good ever lasts

My kitty [one of my poems]

This is a poem I wrote about my kitty (:

Roaming around

Like I used to years ago,

Playing with small toys

Not wanting to be alone

Then coming to me,

as if knowing that was the time

She came,

Curled up on my chest

I feel her heartbeat matching mine

Breathing steadily

Her sides rising and falling

In perfect time.

My kitty

Congratulations [one of my poems]

This is another one of my poems....nothing more to say xD

You've just wasted more of my time

If you've got nothing to say then hang up

There's someone on the other line

If you were here your beautiful eyes would look like those of a newborn pup

I only have one more dime

Just say what you must

Just stab me in the back one more time

Don't shame of it

Be proud

You've succseded

It's what you always wanted

You always wanted to make me cry, right?

Oh, so you didn't

It just seemed to happen

It isn't an accident

don't pretend, I know

It happens to much to be an accident

unless it's not

Don't act like the soviet unioin

I'm not here to listen

I'm not here forever

I've got no more dimes

Just hang up

You've wasted my time

I just hope your pleased

with what you have done

Congratulations;

You've made me cry

Just listen [one of my poems]

Another one of my poems :)

I don't want your sympathy

You can't understand

I just need you to listen

As close as you can

I'm telling you something

I'm opening up

Just listen

please don't interrupt

I know this doesn't mean much

I know you don't care

But please don't cry

Don't even fret

Don't make any drama

We've still got time yet

You pretend that it's all okay

But I hear sorrow in your voice

With every word that you say

Just don't give up

There's always some hope

I realize how this may sound

coming from me

But everything will be OK

It's not always easy to see

Gaze into the night

You cannot see

The light is fading

It becomes scary

Then The dawn appears

And you regain your sight

It's a miracle

It's just ending the night

Not everything happens so perfectly

But if you give it a try it will

Just Take my hand

And you will see

Now I'm done

And it's your turn to share

I'll try to just listen

I promise to be there

Just don't pretend

Don't play any games

I was honest

I expect the same

Helping me [one of my poems]

This is really one of my badder-worst poems that I've written....I hate it, but i'll show you all anyway.

Since I'm not perfect
I can't really see

i can't really know

How you;ve been helping me

You've been sitting on the sidelines

with the ice pack

knowing i'd get hurt

and waiting for me

Not leaving

Not breathing

Just waiting

For me

You knew I'd screw up

You knew I'd not win

You knew I'd lose

You knew

Nothing makes sense

This can't be true

I'm not good enough for your

love, oh your love

It's not you, It's me.

I'm a monster

I destoryed myself

I'm a monster

I'm a sinner

I'm a beginner

I'm a bad winner

I'm not who I used to be

Before I was better

I played by the rules

But now, I only play by one set of rules,

My rules

It's driving me insane

How can I stop it?

I can

But I can't

I don't have the will

Nor the inner power

To stop what I started

to clean up ink

You can save me

from myself

when I'm to dumb to see

what I will regret

I'm giving you my thanks

In the only way I can

Hoping you will read this

time and time again

Love story [One of my poems]

This is one of the poems that I've written, it's called Love story (:

Everyone love story I've heard is a sad one

One of the lovers ends up with no one

The one ends with happily ever after

The other is left, hanging onto the rafters

They're still looking for that special mate

The one with that laugh

The one they can call at 9 to go out on a dinner date

the one who makes them smile on that one bad day

In all of those stories

Happy ending are rare but true

Don't doubt real love stories

Or they won't happen to you.

The clouds will part

the rainbow will show

the rain will start

the love story will grow

About me ^.^;

Well, Hi ^.^;

This is my first blog post so I guess i'll start by telling you about myself.

I'm a poet, i'm a writer, i'm a singer, i'm a crusher, i'm a reader, i'm a over achiever, i'm a friend, i'm a thinker, and I'm a believer.

I like to write poems and stories....most of which no one other than myself and my imaginary friend have ever read (XD).

Some of my basic information:

Interests

Writing poetry and stories, singing, foruming, HTML, people, Rain, shadows, space, moon, reading, thinking, dreaming, and Edgar Allen Poe.

Hobbies

I love to play chess, forum, help people, talk, read, and run.

Sports

I play softball [pitcher, catcher, second, and short stop], basketball, field hockey, and track

Favorite Movies

Mean girls 2, Disturbia, and New Moon

Favorite Music

Second chance - Shinedown, Remember the name - Fortmanor

Favorite Books

Any Edgar Allen Poe stories, The lily dale series by Wendy Corsi Staub, and so many others that I would end up having to go to the hospital because my fingers would be down to the bone by the time I got finished typing them.

Well, I know that probably no one is reading this, and i'm just about talking to myself, so I am and will be totally honest about everything I post and talk about here.

I love the saying:

Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain, cherish the moment, ignore the pain. Be yourself, forgive & forget... because life's too short to be living with regret.

because of how true it is...I have boat loads of quotes, saying s and such, and i'll find a time to post them later (:

Remember how somewhere in my basic information I said that I like to talk? Well the weird thing is that i'm actually very quiet. I talk a lot...to my friends on the internet. I have a few close friends in real life whom I would tell everything to, but other than them i'm pretty silent. I'm a bit of a loner :(